I want 2006 to be all about ME

My Mood: HYPED! I'm getting a caffeine high off of this ice tea from the Firehook Bakery

I’m Listening To: Alicia Keys Unplugged – The BOMB

I’m Reading: ‘A Mighty Love’ and ‘Bachelorette Blues’ (No I am not blue or depressed, this is just the name of the novel)

Why do I feel guilty when I don't blog everyday?...lol I promise to do better going forward. I was sitting here doing a personal year-end review of 2005 and the last few years really. I can't remember too much about 2003...I guess that's because I was in my carefree 20's. I remember 2004 being the absolute year from hell, no exaggeration. The year started with me getting laid off from work and went down hill from there. That is also when this whole quarter-life crisis started.

I ended the year by cutting off all of my hair. I guess that was my way to cleanse myself of all of the negative memories of 2004. BE GONE!

2005 definitely got better as far as my outlook and limited setbacks. It seems that I spent most of they year trying to help others...only to get BURNED in the end, each time. When will I realize that everybody does not want, appreciate or even NEED my help (as I have been told several times in recent months)?? I guess it takes getting burned a few times before it will actually sink in. Just like when you have to let a child feel the heat before they realize that the stove is actually hot. For the remainder of this year and in 2006, I will be wearing very thick gloves, to protect myself and my interest.

I was bitter about a few of the situations at first, but now my approach will be to only offer assistance to those who seek it and are sincere about it. No need to waste my time and resources when they are not wanted.

I'm actually kind of proud of the way I have handled some of these situations...perhaps I did some growing up this year.

Still not letting my grow back though….lol

Now….I want 2006 to be all about ME!

The Crisis Defined

I came across this on another blog and had to post it here. Too bad it doesn't provide a solution...lol

The Quarter-Life Crisis
By Unknown

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Call me a pack rat...

Perhaps one of the reasons that I can't seem to focus on any of the many ideas that I have or maybe the reason that I don't feel content most of the time is due to all of this clutter around me! I am a pack rat. My house is cluttered, my desk at work is cluttered...even my purse is cluttered. I was reading up on feng shui and it mentioned that having a home and office/desk full of clutter can block the flow of ideas and make you uptight all the time. I buy books on getting organized all the time, but never get past chapter one...and then, I throw them into the never-ending pile of books in my bed.

I hate going to the mail box to retrieve all of that junk mail because it somehow ends up in some storage area or pile that I always promise to sort later….You would not believe how many ‘piles’ I have laying around.

Can you believe that I still have my prom shoes from 13 years ago?! I think this all goes back to my self-diagnosis of having adult ADHD.

Wouldn't it be crazy if the whole root of my quarter-life crisis is due to clutter?